I dislike having to explain myself anyone. Just the other day My daughter's kindergarten teacher asked me if I drove over, when I dropped off snacks for her class. Am I wierd for not driving or is she weird for asking? I didn't know what to say. I didn't get into it with her but I get asked if I drive, or if i drive yet all the time. By neighbors or people I know in passing. I find this incredibly rude. I don't ask them their personal business. Inevitably I end up explaining the reason why I don't drive. I'm nearly 30 and i grew up in the NYC area. I took subways to college and I worked in Soho, and found no need to drive.
There is more to it though. I'm deathly affraid of driving. My Father tried to teach me when i was around 19. I was enthusiastic at first the way most young people are. This quickly changed, because every time i did something wrong in the car, my father slapped me around. After that when ever I tried to get behind the wheel I would tense up so badly my back would ache, and i'd get pounding headache. I would really like to drive but I'm terrified. I live in suburban Michigan and find myself isolated. There isn't anywhere to walk to and my subdivision doesn't have sidewalks. When I lived in NY I was able to get around easily, and it isn't unusual for adults not to drive. It's great to have this community.
There is more to it though. I'm deathly affraid of driving. My Father tried to teach me when i was around 19. I was enthusiastic at first the way most young people are. This quickly changed, because every time i did something wrong in the car, my father slapped me around. After that when ever I tried to get behind the wheel I would tense up so badly my back would ache, and i'd get pounding headache. I would really like to drive but I'm terrified. I live in suburban Michigan and find myself isolated. There isn't anywhere to walk to and my subdivision doesn't have sidewalks. When I lived in NY I was able to get around easily, and it isn't unusual for adults not to drive. It's great to have this community.
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Re: People keep asking me if I drive YET.
Tue, May 6, 2008 - 6:12 AMI live in NYC i've survived almost 30 years without driving! Check my life story in the post "whats wrong with the kid"!
Bu you shouldnt get offeneded if people ask you thing like "Did you drive here?" Its not a personal question at all, its the fact that that the situation affects you the way it does that make you feel a lil defensive. I had a girl hand me keys to move a car and when I told her I dont drive, she looked at me like I was an alien. So I feel the same way sometimes, but I'm comfortable as a non-driver so I dont worry about it. |Come back to NY!
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Re: People keep asking me if I drive YET.
Tue, May 6, 2008 - 8:38 AMDee,
You are a coward. You are teaching your daughter to fail and be controlled by her fears.
Your father isn't driving with you now, so you should try driving again.
If you are mature enough to raise a child, you are mature enough to drive.
If this fear is to debilitating, you need to get professional help.
You defensiveness about being asked about driving is silly. Get over it.
Most people drive, so its not an unusual question.
Get help or get ready to see your child replicate your phobias in other areas. -
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Re: People keep asking me if I drive YET.
Tue, June 3, 2008 - 11:32 AMWhy are you here in this group, just to harrass people and try to make them feel worse than they already do?? There are many reasons people choose not to drive. To call someone a coward is a personal attack on their character. You should be very ashamed.
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Re: People keep asking me if I drive YET.
Tue, May 13, 2008 - 9:10 PMI also hate it when people ask why I don't drive. In my opinion its like asking someone why they're in a wheelchair. Generally, if someone doesn't drive, they either have a disability, a phobia or a revoked lisence, nothing they're going to be eager to discuss, so the question, coming from a stranger is rude. I have had the same experience with teachers. I guess they noticed that I never showed up alone, but at least I managed to be there for my daughter, that's all that matters. Who cares how I got there? I used to try to explain myself to people, but they usually don't understand, and haggle me about it, so now I avoid discussing it. Try just saying very bluntly, "I just don't drive," then quickly change the subject. Unless they're completely stupid, they'll get the message that their prying is not welcome.
