Adults Who Don't Drive Cars's topics - tribe.net

Non-Driver In Michigan. Anyone Else Feel The Pain?

Trevor — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 06:41:42 GMT

It's been fine for me, not driving. I'm 19 and I'm just starting to get into the dating scene (sort of). I figure I'd simply explain how it's not good for the environment, how I don't want to kill or seriously injure myself and/or other people, and it's just way too expensive what with the misc. car payments, gas, maintenance, insurance, and the eventual car crash I WILL be a part of not to mention court fees and tickets (or bribe money for the cops, lol).

To tell you all the truth, my father never lets me touch his precious Pacifica, my mother lives clear across the state, my friends, although nice enough to let me test drive, aren't very helpful regardless, and when it comes down to me behind the wheel, I'm one of those unfortunate people that can't pay enough attention to a million things going on while I'm trying to figure out what's legal and what's not.

And when I really think about it, it's not even worth it. It's simply ONE way to get around - a very expensive way of getting from A to B, but in Michigan, it seems like it's that way or no way. Granted, in Clinton Township, we've got one or two taxicab companies and a shotty bus system with a bus stop a mile away from where I live, but I can't help but feel like a child.

I don't yearn to leave the house very much and my work place is right next to where I live. I chill with friends during the week and it's good enough for me. I'm making plans for a Chicago move where driving is truly not necessary.

Was wondering if any of you were in the same situation.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 4 replies

21 year old who doesn't drive

vinny — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 09:30:03 GMT

i'm a sophmore in college and i'm constantly pressured by dad and friends to get my license. i've renewed my permit 3 times and i have driven before. i just don't feel comfortable behind the wheel. i know it sounds lame, but my friends usually drive me everywhere and my mom drops me off at school. i don't feel like a loser or anything, but i kind of feel like an outcast. i've had girls like me, but i'm afraid to make a move because i don't drive...its pretty embarrassing. i don't really feel the need to get a license, but i almost feel like i have to because of all the pressure i get. i guess i'm just looking for some advice :[

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

I'm new here

Dah — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 19:41:08 GMT

Hopefully I'm not breaking rules posting this but... if I am, just tell me or delete it

It's awesome to find a place for people who hate driving ... I feel fairly alone in this, because I'm surrounded by drivers and it saps the energy from me, sometimes.
When I was 18 and fresh out of school, my parents enrolled me into a driver's ed course ... and I was into it for a bit, until the actual driving started. I have control issues, and I just didn't feel in control when behind the wheel. And after seeing half a dozen videos about accidents occurring because of new drivers, it made me even more nervous.
Half way through the course, I realized it was screwing everything up. Before, I could drive in a car, and not worry at all, just trust in the person driving... But then, while a passenger in my dad's car, I started yelling at him to watch out for nothing that was a legit problem... It made me worried, paranoid, and above all SCARED. and I hated it.
So one night, I told my parents I was going to quit the class. They insisted I finish it, because they already paid for the rest of the course, and I would've wasted a bit of their money. I agreed, but said afterwards, I'd never drive again.

Two years have passed now, and my driver's permit has expired, and my parents (and others) both have begged me to get my driver's license a thousand times now, but I've held strong. My hometown has bus service, taxis (Both of which my parents said they did NOT have when they began their "learn to drive" argument, which is a crock) so I see no need.

Anyway, there's this newby's story and hello everyone.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 25 replies

Hey All Fellow Non Drivers

Sarah — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:03:56 GMT

First off let me say kudos to whoever started this group. It's always nice to know you're not alone in something. I have appreciated reading all the posts. Well here's my story in a nutshell. At 16 like a lot of young people I asked my mom for a car. We had an in law who had this really really cute Honda CRX she was going to sell for like 400 bucks. That was a steal. I promised mom to be a good driver. You have to understand my mom was a good mom but waaaaaaaaay too protective, actually smothering is more like it. Anyway she said no. Now I dont believe it was because she was worried about my safety but more because she wanted to keep me close to home. Fast forward. I go through drivers training at 19 and get a perfect 10 on my permit test. I go through year after year after year of people promising to teach me but ALWAYS letting me down. Fast forward some more to 2009 and guess what I am volunteering to start a transportation program in my county. Now isn't that TOO ironic. Today I needed to vent because this young twerp who I am working with looked at the safe driving training that I developed waaaaaaay before he came on board and said we need to get rid of some of the slides. He actually said that they were"common sense". I find this funny because in San Diego the drivers do not even possess the words common sense in their vocabularies. This city is NOT pedesterian (sp) friendly at all. I think about driving and getting a car ALL THE TIME but then I think about the expense of owning one and well it's like YIKES!!! Especially for something that depreciates soooo quickly. Thanks for letting me vent.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

38 with a fear of driving

soanne — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:29:57 GMT

When I was 16 I went straight out and got my learners permit no worries. Unfortunately what followed was a series of bad learning experiences . Being yelled at & made to feel incompetent by friends trying to teach me, people irresponsibly putting me in difficult driving situations (eg: on a highway at night sandwiched between 2 semi trailers with another one on coming). Eventually I just said "bugger it" and stopped learning. In the years that followed I was involved in a couple of car accidents, nothing severe, but enough to instill in me that "accidents are real", not just something that happens to "other people". They served to deepen my already existing fear. In my late 20's I decided to have another go at renewing my written learner's test. I studied, went and sat it, and failed, 3 times in a row. A big contributor to this was my 3 & 4 yr old kiddies (bless them), sit outside the door with their Dad waiting for me, crying & screaming for Mummy to hurry up. I left there feeling like a dumb failure and pretty much that sealed the deal, I have never been back and that was 10 years ago. I am so angry with myself for not being brave enough to "get back on the horse" again, but it's developed into this "oh my god, what are people going to think of this stupid 38 yr old woman trying to get her license and failing again, poor thing" phobia. I hate it. I see people I know out who I went to school with driving their cars, having a glance at me driving around with my husband or Mum and think, they must wonder what's wrong with me. I picture myself "being brave" getting in my car and whizzing off here and there, independent and happy, but then I come back to reality and find that in actual fact, my heart is beating super fast and my hands are all sweaty, just at the thought of driving. So back into the "too hard basket" it goes again, and I leave that demon to battle another day. But I will tell you something. If there is one thing I intend to do before I leave this planet, it's to get my license and drive a car. I don't care if I am 99 when I do it, I will do it. I have to, for me, it's just a matter of finding the courage!!!

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 4 replies

Greetings from a newbie.

sarah — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 02:54:52 GMT

Hello everyone,
It's so nice to find a forum for people who do not drive. Thank goodness such people still exist.
I have been learning to drive for 19 years on-and-off but I am so scared behind the wheel I eventually have to stop. I think I am driving phobic.
Anyway, I have now given myself permission not to drive if I don't want to. I refuse to feel guilty and I will no longer let anyone pressure me or make me feel bad about it.
To hell with people who do that.
It is my life to live and I make my own decisions about that life. If driving is not for me then so be it. The last thing I do is burden other people by asking them for lifts.
Anyway, forgive me for sounding a little militant about it, but I don't think anyone should be bullied or pressurised. If you are scared that can only make things much worse.
So after that rant I would like to say, "Hi' to everyone, and have a good day. Enjoy every minute.
Sarah.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

Everyone keeps pressuring me to learn to drive.

Natalie — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 07:23:43 GMT

I really don't want to learn to drive, the thought of me in control of a car is really scary. My husband drives and his family is pressuring me to learn. I understand the reasons behind driving but it scares me and if it gives me that much anxiety isn't it a good thing I'm not on the road?

My father in law keeps saying I need to learn if my husband can't drive cause he gets sick etc. It's just something that's never appealed to me. It's not that I've had a bad experience I don't know why I feel so anxious about it. Maybe I will feel differently over time, but also right now we can't really afford a second car. But apparently that's not an excuse I can use my husbands car to go places. I hate feeling pressured maybe one day when everyone stops nagging.

Believe me I've thought about when we finally have kids if my husbands working and I have to take them to kindergarten I understand that it's a necessity in that respect. But I still have that anxiety I have driven a car in a parking lot before so I know I could drive. It's just so different when your driving on really busy roads it gets me all anxious.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

good city for non drivers

jeremy — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 17:39:21 GMT

I am 38 married with a two year old and a non driver. My wife does drive. I am looking for a city that has goood weather, a reasonable cost of living and good walking conditions and public transpotation NYC is just too expensive these days. Any ideas?

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 17 replies

I am Afraid to Drive.

Malisa — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:16:49 GMT

When I was 18 I went and got my permit, because I had just gotten married, and felt I need to finally go. Well I have had my permit for two years now..and it recently expired. I have driven a few times to town but that is it. I am to scared to drive anywhere else. I am definely afraid to go take the test, fear of driving, instructor, changing lanes, etc.. My husband drives me around now. I don't work so I don't have to wory about getting there, no kids so I am no worries getting them around. But I feel so depressed latley..thinking about the future how my husband is going to feel when I am older and still don't have my liscene. How I am going to go places do things I need to do when he is at work. Well I just wanted to share my story

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

Just rode an exercise bicycle

ZaeM the Great and Powerful — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:44:20 GMT

Today I joined LA Fitness to attempt to get my weight back down and hopefully get in better shape than ever before.

I have been driving for a year now; and I'm in the worst shape of my life now. Hopefully, between spin class, the pool, and eliptical and cycle training machines, I can regain some level of fitness... then I'll work on increasing the tone in what they now refer to as the "core" (abdomen, chest and back areas).

anyway... it was neat how the bike machine simulated various types of bike training... from flat straight ground to hilly or mountainous terrain or even random. It was also nice to bike with the intention of working hard and sweating; knowing there was a shower a short walk away when I was done. In the past on a real bike, I would manage the exertion to keep my sweat to a minimum... as I would probably be going somewhere when I finished my ride... unless I was headed home.

Maybe when I'm in better shape I'll be more inclined to fix my bike up and get back on the trails for recreational purposes.

I know... you wish me luck.

thanks.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

Dont drive cause too scared also

Evelyn — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:46:57 GMT

Wow I been depressed thinking I was the only one. I usually have my husband drive me here and there. But on Sunday I guess I ask him to drive me a little to much. And so now he has been upset at me. I asked him to take me to Costco, Steward Lenards, and then he got really upset when I asked to pick up my nieces from my moms house and then drive them home. I did say sorry to him for over doing it. Everybody tells me I should be driving so that I dont have to bother my husband as much but I've been to scared to actually go and do it. I got my license about 12 years ago but never really drove. I get freaked out and very nervous and scared to do it. I wish I wasnt scared. I wish I was more brave about it. I hope that eventually I can find some help on this. Maybe a stranger would be more helpful in helping me out. Glad I let some steam out.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 1 reply

Fear not laziness

steph — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 10:37:28 GMT

A lot of people seem to judge me for not driving. They assume I am too lazy to learn to drive. I lost someone very close to me at age six to a drunk driving accident. I formed the fear of driving early on. Can anyone else relate?

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 30 replies

bloody driving!

mark — Sat, 30 May 2009 10:50:14 GMT

Cool group! Just stumbled across it from goggling some stuff in my frustration about not being able to drive.

When I turned 16 I got a job and saved up my measly wages until I could afford the car that I really wanted. I then proceeded to fail about 6 tests, each one more demoralizing than the last. In the end I just gave up and sold my car :(
I feel as though I've lost out on a part of my life....sort of like a right of passage. The whole 'passing your test' thing and driving your car on your own for the first time, the freedom, the accheivment ect. I was always just in the passenger seat when my friends were passing their tests :(
It has also messed up my life in terms of my not being able to drive, meaning that I couldn't take certain jobs.
Only very recently, people are on at me again to try again.
I passed my theory test years ago, but it has expired now, so ill have to do all that again first.
Also, from what i gather, the driving test is even harder now! with more sections added etc (UK)
Its so upsetting/embarassing.
It doesn't help that I have absoultely no bearings whatsover, and could get lost in my own house. Sometimes I think there must be a medical condition for what i have when it comes to things like directions.
As far as actually 'driving' goes, I've actually been told that i have very good 'control' of the car, but it must be due to anxiety / I also seem to 'switch off' , not concentrate which cost me a few times too. 2 of my tests i failed with just 3 minors (which is nothing) but i always have a 'major' in there which is an instant fail.

Anyway, just wanted to rant. There's talk of my dad getting another car which they are gonna bully me into using to learn to drive once again! Haven't driven in about 5 years. Wathc this space!

nice to know im not on my own

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 5 replies

Hi, here's my story

Mon, 19 May 2008 02:22:24 GMT

I did not get my license until I was almost 18. (I'm now 33) My grandparents raised me from birth, and my grandfather died when I was 14, just before I could learn. Grandma did not drive, so we had to rely on other family members or taxis to do grocery shopping or run simple errands. My grandmother hired a driving instructor a few times, but it was expensive, and not enough training, but it did help me get my license. Since then, I have only driven close to home, and only when needed. I get lots of anxiety behind the wheel, especially when pulling out of busy shopping areas or merging into fast moving traffic from ramps. I have lost boyfriends over my lack of driving, since I am afraid to travel more than 30-40 minutes away from home, and can't drive to meet them. Recently, I was given a GPS as a gift, and event though it helps me with directions, it does nothing to calm my fears of just being on the road in real time traffic, and knowing what to do in certain situations. That would only come from experience which I don't have.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 4 replies

Greetings from the Sunshine State!

Gaylord — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 16:52:18 GMT

I'm new to this group, and have joined because I, too, am an adult non-driver.

Let me explain: I was born nearly 47 years ago with a condition known as Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, from which I eventually developed Schizophrenia. Because of this condition, I had a bit of a hard time learning to drive when I was in high school in Michigan. I have had a number of learner's permits, but to, unfortunately, no avail, because NO ONE cared enough to "trust" me behind the wheel, and as a result, I was never able to attain a driver's license.

Then, I moved to Florida nine years ago, and found out that it might be even more difficult (if not impossible) to get a driver's license because of my mental condition. And...perhaps to me, that might be a good thing, because IMHO, driving is an expensive and dangerous hassle, a "privilege" I can truly learn to do WITHOUT! In fact, the only driving I REALLY want to do...is in video games! I have an old mountain bike that someone just gave me, and as far as I'm concerned, it's the ONLY set of wheels I'll EVER need.

Don't get me wrong, I still want a license, but what with global warming, soaring gasoline prices and auto insurance premiums, rapidly dwindling global oil supplies, and, of course, ROAD RAGE, I think I just might be better off NOT driving at all, and sticking strictly to bicycles, buses, and taxicabs! What's your take on all of this? Am I REALLY doing the "right thing" by choosing NOT to drive? Surely not EVERYONE is "cut out" to drive a motor vehicle...or are we?

I'm so glad I found this group, and hope you all will welcome me with open arms. ;-)

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 8 replies

62, and never have driven

tom — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 06:43:19 GMT

It's probably all about fear generated by poor motor skills or
some wierd adrenal cortex thing that clogs the flow of messages to the brain!
Let's face it: People who don't drive are a little odd.
Tell them you're a communist; tell them you're a chid molester;
tell them that your a communist child molester. But don't tell them that you don't drive.
It's the biggest stigma that a person can have in the USA.
To the degree that someone is afraid, they are less able to think
quickly, clearly and logically. I'm 62 and have never driven a car.
It hasn't stopped me from living on both coasts in USA and now in Europe.
Some of my friends who drive are still on the same block.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

I thought I was alone

bella — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 22:52:58 GMT

It is good to know i'm not the only person who dosen't drive. Some people who DO shouldn't be on the road, right. yes, i hear it all the time, You don't drive? I'M GLad there are others like me--hello everyone!

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 7 replies

Drivers feeling threatened by non drivers?

Julia — Thu, 21 May 2009 17:13:37 GMT

It's something I've been mulling over for a while now... do drivers feel threatened by non drivers, because unlike them, we do not have a dependence on a car? Is that why they always seem to get so angry when they find out we don't drive? Is that why they always seem offended that we are not "following the pack" (so to speak) & doing what they do? I could understand offence if non-driving was brought up smugly (eg: boasting about how you're helping the environment), but even an innocent "Oh, I don't drive." when asked what car you have seems to cause more of an uproar then telling them you hate <insert your country's name here>!

It would certainly explain why they always try to pressure & guilt others into driving (I had people tell me I was never truly an independent adult until I had a car & license... & this is while I was living on my own, working a full time job & had never in my life asked anyone for a lift! How does that even make sense?). Your thoughts?

(P.S. Hi I'm new! *Waves*)

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 3 replies

My introduction

catwoman — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 04:25:12 GMT

I tried learning to drive when I was 15 but we couldn't afford driving lessons. I took some driving lessons but I'm rather uncoordinated. I also suffer from Adult ADD so I get distracted very easily. I get around on public transportation. I used to live in Shoreline, Washington and commuted to Seattle on the bus. I now live in Bountiful, Utah and commute to Salt Lake City. The bus service here isn't as good as it was in Washington. I've traveled quite a bit--much of it car free. I've gone around some cities in Europe on the bus and the trains. I've taken my cats to the vets on the bus--and sometimes I've taken them in cabs. A year ago I took a trip to Alaska and never got into a car. I got on the bus and went to the airport and flew to Seattle. Then I took a bus to the flight museum and then a bus into town and walked to my motel. The next morning I took a bus to the airport and rode a charter to Vancouver. Then I boarded a Cruise Ship. I took a train ride in British, Columbia. At the end of the cruise I got on a bus and went to the airport and flew to Salt Lake City and then rode a bus to Bountiful. I traveled over 4,000 miles never getting into a car. There are a lot of people who drive who shouldn't be driving. At least I know that I would not be a safe driver. Usually I find my own way around. Sometimes I ask for a ride--but normally I depend on myself to get places. I've learned to use my time on busses--reading, napping, listening to music, talking to other passengers. I've found my way around a number of large cities on the bus--Vancouver, BC, Detroit, Michigan, London, England, Portland, Oregon. I am rather troubled by the lack of respect shown to pedestrians. Often crosswalks are placed miles apart. There are places where there isn't a crosswalk. Recently I got Utah ID and had to ride the bus and then walk a ways to get to the Driver's License Dept. There were not stop signs, traffic lights or cross walks. I have been places where there are no sidewalks. Also at some intersectins there are so many little side roads and it is pretty scary trying to cross. I was recently hit by a white pickup truck and when I submitted my bills to my medical insurance I was told that my auto insurance had to pay first. I explained I had no auto insurance because I don't drive. I was told the driver's auto insurance had to pay. I sought him out for three months but I am not able to find out who it is because it was a hit and run and am now appealing my medical insurance with proof that the driver who hit me (deliberately) cannot be identified. Meanwhile I have providers coming after me threatening me with collection agencies. If I drove I could have submitted it right to my auto insurance. I find there is descrimination against non-drivers.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 1 reply

Famous people who don't drive.

Mark — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 11:17:23 GMT

What famous/important people who don't drive are there?

I remember that John Lennon got his license only when he was 29 (and he immediately had an accident while riding with Yoko), and Elvis Costello got it when he was 32. But, anyway, they finally got it.

Spike Lee, instead, I think he can't drive. I read it on IMDB, I seem to remember.

Others?

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 8 replies

and yet, i want to go, go, go ...

shane — Wed, 27 May 2009 15:44:33 GMT

yes i do!

i grew up traveling to a good extent
i thought the automobile was just great
until somewhere past the age of ten
the link to global pollution and city smog was undeniable
by twelve i'd lost all the glamorous obsession and was no longer
enamored by the modern machismo

i spent even more time riding my bike
this gave way to hitching numerous times across the country
when not leaving the driving to the greyhound, or occasionally flying some friendly sky
i walked a hell of a lot, like thirty miles one way would not be out of the question
at least 10-15 to work at times
it was fine much of the time for i lived in rural areas a lot
and the towns i lived in where usually hospitable enough
at least until there were more cars, highways, interstates, etc.

i can count the cars i've owned, briefly, on one hand
(the pathetic yamaha s-175 that i walked in maui, aside)

funny thing, i was ready to get a license in '03
wanted to start doing more than the usual
then, several seizures later and a meningioma diagnosis
i was unable to get one on the basis of being medically "at risk"
(seizure prone)

oh well ...

i still want to go, go, go ...
(kerouac? sixties mod culture?)

but, i want public transport that is a network of all logical pt links in the country
greyhound won't always get it and like all things american, it's too damned expensive
(will we ever learn that this is what's wrong with the "economy"?)

i want to ride a bike without being physically threatened by the rabid enraged road mongerer
i have had enough visits to the hospital and seen enough of the shoddy ways in which the "police"
deal with us nuisances on a bike

is there an amendment that provides for freedom of movement somewhere in the bill of rights?

i can probably try to get my license, four years after my last seizure, but you know what ...

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

Hi, Im Edie and Im a recovering driver....

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 20:58:59 GMT

Just stumbled across this tribe and was so tickled.
I have a valid DL although I have no idea how. I have wrecked every car that I have ever driven.
I am a horrible driver. I get lost in my back yard, I have no depth perception, I have driving narcolepsy. You name it, Ive got it.
I just gave it up before I kill someone.
I abhor driving. I really don't even like being in the things.
So this is me,
Hello all.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 3 replies

A great community

kristi — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:06:53 GMT

Hello-
I am new to this forum and just wanted to say this is a great thing! I am in my late 20's and do not drive... I have always gotten panic attacks when I have tried and am also a very nervous passenger. Sometimes it is hard relying on other people to get around but I would rather do that than be the cause of a potentially life-ending accident, especially since the drivers where i live seem like they shouldn't be on the road either... everyone I meet looks at me like I have 2 heads or says I "need to practice to get better" when I try to explain myself...I am so glad to know I am not alone and this is one place where I won't be judged!

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 2 replies

G'day from a non-driver down-under .. (Australia)

Stuart — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:59:46 GMT

G'day ...

I'm in my early thirties and live in a nice South-Eastern suburb of the City of Melbourne in Victoria, Australia.

I've never driven and never want to. I get public transport everywhere, which suits me fine (and probably saves me a fortune with the rising cost of petrol, not to mention registration, insurance and maintance) and I'm lucky enough to live very close to work, so I ride my bike there and back and save even more money on bus tickets.

Thankfully I think my family have just about given up "encouraging" me to drive.

If anyone wants to ask me anything or to just say hello, please go ahead.

It's good to be here and nice to be in the company of like-minded people.

Regards,

Stuart.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 4 replies

Non-driving adults on TV and in the movies

jb — Tue, 14 Mar 2006 19:07:06 GMT

I just saw "The 40 Year Old Virgin" and was delighted to note that the title character was also a "driving virgin", preferring instead to ride his bicycle around town.

Does anyone know where else one might observe such a phenomenon?

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 14 replies

I don't drive either....

ed — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 22:46:12 GMT

Well my mom didn't drive, so niether do I.

It sucks, becuse I live in this sorry oiece of crap town with 0 transportation, and no where to go. No busses for mile. I hate it. Even walking conditions are bad. I have tried a few times to drive, but it doesn't work. My wife has 0 patience with me, and put me off to her step-dad, but I feel odd around him, so the driving seems to not go well. Plus we have a car, but they have to come to me to show me how to drive, and I find that dumb.

So 2 weeks we are without a car, becuase I can't drive it. No fun walking at all here. Just barren open spaces and a highway.

I will move back to Raliegh, or Charleston, but this is the pits.

Do I have a driving phobia...at times I feel so retarded for not driving.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 8 replies

Weight Gain and Driving?

Christine — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 23:52:08 GMT

Is it true that those who drive cars are more likely to gain weight than those who don't drive cars? For instance, Kirstie Alley was a car eater (she didn't actually eat cars, duh. She just spent a lot of time eating food in her car and look where that got her).

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

So glad I found this.

Shannon — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:50:47 GMT

I'm 22 and I don't drive. At 15 I took driver's ed and although I got off to a rocky start with it, I got the hang of driving pretty quickly and got my permit. The problems started after I got my permit. Since my dad worked a lot, my mom was the only one who could take me driving. She was basically a wreck when I was driving. I remember one time in particular I had to back out of our driveway (we live on a really quiet street that cars rarely drive by) and she got so nervous that she made me get out so she could drive.

That basically killed my confidence and I gave up. My permit expired and I didn't bother renewing it. In the past week or so though I've realized how badly I need to learn how to drive. I don't live in an area with public transportation and my job is almost 15 miles away, so walking or riding my bike is kind of out of the question. I feel bad that at 22 I'm relying on my parents to drive me around. So tomorrow I'm sending my paperwork into the state so I can take my permit test again, and hopefully I'll have my license before winter. :)

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

Just riding in a car

poopylungstuffing — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 13:41:14 GMT

anyone else out there who experiences intense anxiety just from riding in a car?
It often freaks me out and puts me in a bad mood. I am constanly on edge...not so bad on long road trips..but in city traffic it is enough to give me a heart attack.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 9 replies

Finally, I'm not alone!!

Lisa — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 22:10:10 GMT

Wanted to say hi and share my story.

I'm Lisa, 32 yrs old. At 16 I was scared beyond belief. I met my husband at 17. We knew eachother from High School. He drove everywhere and... still does. I have a major anxiety and panic attacks. Aside from driving, sleeping is the 2nd difficult thing to do. I actually have plans, when he goes to welding school, to join a driving institute to maybe get this under control. Now Im worried everyone will be so young and I'll be the only adult.

I have to admit th reason I'm going to this school is because I know everyone wants me to. If he will be going to school and we would only be a street away from eachother, I feel that I have absolutely NO excuse not to go. This will be several years from now though. not something I have to worry about right now.

When you dont want to drive, your mind will find ANY excuse to validate it. To be honest, I dont want my husband/I to have ANOTHER vehicle that will consume gas and require maintenence. not just oil changes but internal things that end up costing a lot.

How have ppl reacted to your ot driving? I get the same answer everytime.. "then DONT drive" It seems to be no problem, but they make it sound so simple. It's NOT simple, at all. I think maybe CANT is what feels so bad. Cant drive feels like a disability. Wont drive feels more controllable. I would rather a 'Dont have to'. My husband could get in an accident any time, I could have an emergency, etc etc etc. I'm sure you guys already know all the things that can run through your mind. I feel so responsible and the type of person I am just doesnt get held down by something like THIS! It keeps me home and not working like a disabled person. I hate it.

What are the options ppl can take? Busses here are dangerous. Taxis are almost as bad. I wish I lived close enough to walk somewhere. it's not safe to do that anyways either.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 2 replies

Cool place, I'm not alone.

Blake — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:24:33 GMT

This is a pretty cool place, I'm 23 now, I've drove a few time but always in the country and would get rather scared when I was behind the wheel. Though, probably my most horrifying experience was driving a drunk friend home in his car so that he wouldn't get a dwi. Luckily I didn't get ticketed, but I have never been more afraid in my life... was a good thirty mile trip, me 13 with only a basic understanding of how to drive... Which is why I don't now, not to mention being in two car accidents before I was a teen.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

Should I get my license. . .

Chelsea — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 00:05:57 GMT

I'm 21 years old and I do not have my license. None of my friends understand why I do not drive. I too have a fear of driving. Noting traumatic has happend to me to induce this fear, I just don't like to drive. I've had my permit renewed 4 times now, and I'm kinda embarrassed about it. So I'm trying to decide if I should just go through life not driving. I plan on living/working in downtown PIttsburgh, so I will not really need a car to get around town. For those of you who have gone through your life not driving, do you ever regret not driving?

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 3 replies

well, I CAN'T DRIVE~ SO I DON'T!

lmbfreespirit — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 02:21:23 GMT

Mom & I are the ultimate carpoolers!
I was TBI~ brain INJURED in 3/99, by a drunk driver!
I started the StemcellsGIVElife tribe about 5 yrs ago!
To share what I am learning & teach! I WAS a teacher at the time of my crash!!!
I REFUSE to call it an "accident"!

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 7 replies

People keep asking me if I drive YET.

Dee — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 05:21:36 GMT

I dislike having to explain myself anyone. Just the other day My daughter's kindergarten teacher asked me if I drove over, when I dropped off snacks for her class. Am I wierd for not driving or is she weird for asking? I didn't know what to say. I didn't get into it with her but I get asked if I drive, or if i drive yet all the time. By neighbors or people I know in passing. I find this incredibly rude. I don't ask them their personal business. Inevitably I end up explaining the reason why I don't drive. I'm nearly 30 and i grew up in the NYC area. I took subways to college and I worked in Soho, and found no need to drive.
There is more to it though. I'm deathly affraid of driving. My Father tried to teach me when i was around 19. I was enthusiastic at first the way most young people are. This quickly changed, because every time i did something wrong in the car, my father slapped me around. After that when ever I tried to get behind the wheel I would tense up so badly my back would ache, and i'd get pounding headache. I would really like to drive but I'm terrified. I live in suburban Michigan and find myself isolated. There isn't anywhere to walk to and my subdivision doesn't have sidewalks. When I lived in NY I was able to get around easily, and it isn't unusual for adults not to drive. It's great to have this community.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 4 replies

KILL DEATH DOOM HATE- my mistake

ZaeM the Great and Powerful — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 16:12:50 GMT

I'm a fool.

I moved to the suburbs. I have no car. I was fired from my crappy annoying job in town (for no reason by the way). and there's nothing out here and I'm trapped in my Home with no way around.

I made a very big tactical error in moving here.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 2 replies

just got a car

poopylungstuffing — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:17:38 GMT

I have owned a few cars in the past..that were either barely-drivable or mainly for novelty sake (a Chevy Vega i wanted to turn into an art car given to me by an ex-roommate)...my nickname for it was the CutieCar..and I wanted to turn it into the "Monkeymobile"...this was maybe in 2001...and I had some sorta intent then to get my liscense...
A complete lemon of a 80's Chevy Cavalier that I got when I was 19 or 20..and already a "late driver"...my boyfriend at the time drove me around in it till it broke down about a month later...At that point i was in the dregs of attempting to get my liscense and had already failed the drivers test a couple of times...it was right around the time I took my disapointing Adult Drivers Ed class.

Now recently, my dad got me a really nice Volvo..that I am quite pleased with...though I still do not drive...my boyfriend uses the car for work.
Over the weekend though, i actually did drive the thing...(early on a Sunday morning when boyfriend was still too drunk to drive)
It was actually kinda fun!
...Granted there were no other cars on the road at the time.....

Anywhoo...at the age of 32...at the risk of danger to myself anf others....I might concider attempting to get my liscense again....
Just so that I have one.
I will STILL be a non-driver....
just one with a liscense...in case of emergencies.
I will still prefer a bike to all other modes of land-bound tranportation

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

Whats wrong witht he kid?

karatcake — Tue, 06 May 2008 12:53:14 GMT

I'm 28 and live in nyc. I dont drive but I was in driver's ed at 16, (which I wasnt as enthusiastic about as the other kids) but I got so called expelled from school before the road test. Had that not happened, I probably would have not been typing this. Anyway, years went by and I developed some sort of fear or mental block against driving. I put this aside to take lessons from my father when I was 18. On the first lesson he was telling me to brake, I didnt see why so I kept going. Then he start yelling frantically for me to stop the car. Panicked as hell, I stopped. He then said "oh sorry, I thought the light was red". Pissed off, I drove home and never got back in the drivers seat with him and swore off lessons from family. The experience brought back whatever anxiety I had about driving.

Shortly after that, I went to VA to visit my brother and he forced me to practice. Then he had me driving his kids around alone. For some reason the experience wasnt as nerve-racking as I thought it would be and I came back to NY feeling confident, which wore off the minute I touched NY soil. When I was abut 25, this fear mysteriously disappeared and I got my permit for the second time and took brush up lessons to get ready for the road test. During one of these lessons, the instructor started screaming like a maniac in the car and startled the SHIT out me (apparently his glasses were too strong and he thought a truck was closer to me than it was really was). Then even after he admitted his mistake he tried to scold me about it, this kind of turned me off to the whole thing, but I did stick with the lessons. When all was said and done, he told me that drive very well, I never made the appt for the road test because I still felt I wasnt comfortable! So yeah, I've driven before with "no problem" but there something about the thought of driving that makes me very anxious and not want to bother with it. I had a close friend who was really motivated and got her license with no problems, I mean she BREEZED thru this effortlessly. After the road test, she refused to drive due to extreme nervousness. Years passed and she came to check me recently and she was f'ing driving with a smile on her face. Needless to say I halfway felt like shit.

Now I'm here about to do this for the third time because I dont feel like wasting money to get a another permit if this expires. Truly, If I didnt have a child I wouldn't even bother driving.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

Coming out of the closet!

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 05:00:35 GMT

My name is Janine de Luna-Azul

I'm 9 days short of 41 years old.

I don't and never have owned a car.

Nor do I really like to drive,( I live in Austin where no one else really knows how to drive anyway.)

I don't have a driver's lisense.

I feel better knowing about this tribe.

Thank you.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 15 replies

my non driving SigOth

mikearama — Sun, 30 Oct 2005 23:46:07 GMT

This is a cool idea for a tribe. I'm married to an adult that doesn't drive. I mentioned it once to someone at the Mill and I got the weirdest looks. Then people pushed me to admit I was just joking. Wow, I realized how much of a car nation we have, but this was psycho.

My grandmother didn't drive either, but I think she liked being waited on....

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 3 replies

Thanks for the confimation

Wade — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:53:29 GMT

I am 26 years old and have had people asking...no telling me that I need to drive a car, yet I have been successful in my life without one. I love the extra exercise I get, I have a spouse and friends who drive and live a full life without owning a car. The only people who have ever given me trouble about it are my family. The enviroment just doesn't need anymore cars and I don't feel that it is worth it to pay the extra expenses expecially given the benefits I am recieving from the exercise of walking/bicycling. I know people who drive everywhere, even if it's just down the street and they are all overweight and generally unhealthy. Sorry, if I have to work a little harder to not be like that so be it.

I just stumbled upon this forum and would like to thank you all for giving me confirmation that I am not insane and can continue to live my fufilling life without a car

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

Not Driving In LA

elaine — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 21:28:25 GMT

I'm responding to a post from many months ago, but thought I'd add a little info. I've been here in LA for about a year and half now and don't drive. It has not been a propblem at all. I live in Glendale. The Glendale BeeLine will take you anywhere in the city you want to go and there are bus stops everywhere. Its only 35 cents and 25 for senior's.
Within 5 to 10 minutes the Beeline will get you to Galleria, Glendale College, downtown, and the metro station. Low cost, no parking, no stress and you can feel good that you are not adding to the traffic and smog. There are so many supermarkets out here that it is unlikely one will not be in walking distance. I live 2 blocks from Ralph's and enjoy the walk. People complain that people in LA don't get to know eachother and that it is hard to make friends here but all they need to do is GET OUT OF THEIR CARS!!! I meet new people, enjoy the sunny weather and have really gotten to know my neighborhood. Granted, my boyfriend drives so when a car is essential I hitch a ride with him. But I'm completely independant and I'm free from car payments, isurance, stress. I love it!

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 1 reply

nice to join you :)

Adline — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 12:04:05 GMT

Hi everyone, I'm from Malaysia. I have a driver's licence, but don't own a car or drive. I just hate the stress and I'm too paranoid about getting into accidents. My husband never got a licence, his family couldn't afford a car and right now, it's just too expensive for us. Honestly, I am so tired of everyone nagging us to get a car - busybodies! My husband and me, along with our 3 year old son get by just fine on cabs and public transport. Sure its tough sometimes, but there are pros and cons to owning a car and driving too. Sigghhhh.... I am so happy to be here amongst people who understand! It's a great tribe and thank you for having me :)

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

great tribe

artemisia_danst — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 03:09:10 GMT

hey all

i'm 30. my family and friends have been harassing me for the last 10y that i should learn to drive and buy a car. i've managed without. i take the odd cab, have stuff home delivered sometimes, and for my dance gigs have to rely on friends/students/drives (but would not want to go unaccompanied to a gig anyway)., but 80 to 90% of my life happily gets sorted out by walking, cycling and public transport. and i do want to keep it that way!

Artemisia

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 1 reply

new never drove never will

jenny — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 02:06:22 GMT

Hello. I am a somewhat rural non driver with a family and I am soooooo tired of people telling me how empowering it would be for me, how much better life would be, how easy...blahblahblah. At first I didn't drive because I lived in the city and there was just no need. I love to walk and if that wouldn't do there was buses and taxis all over the place. Flash forward to moving to the burbs w/ kids. There WAS a bus on my road but it was cancelled shortly after the move. We CAN walk to a grocery store and another bus. It is a bit if a trek but less than a mile. It's a very dangerous rode for anyone biking. Anyway, with the constant haranguing and snide comments about me just NEEDING to drive, my thoughts have evolved to this - I will never drive. First, since driving a car is the most damaging thing one can do to the earth, I'm taking a stand, I'm not doing it. Also, exercise is a good thing. Stepping into the car is not exercise. And everything isn't easy. Sometimes I want to be able to get places more easily. It is then that I do something to creatively distract myself - i.e. I've become one bitchin' baker. Or should I say we. We as a family do some great stuff together at home that those bopping about from practice to mall and back never seem to find the time to even consider.

I think my "stance" if properly vocalized will be a good example for my kids and help them to realize one should tread lightly on the earth and be creative with one's time upon it.

NO ONE EVER lets me get all of the above out of my mouth without rolling their eyes and walking away muttering. So thanks - even if you didn't read it, just for this tribe.
J

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 1 reply

It's for the excersize

Yul — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 14:31:56 GMT

One of the reasons why I don't drive is because it forces me to excersize. That is, I often have to walk around or bike around to get to places. If I was a typical American driver, I might end up driving EVERYWHERE -- even to the conveniece store that's a five minute walk from my house. If I did that, I'd get far less excerise than I currently do. Meanwhile, your typical American driver might say they don't have the time to excersize. But I say they'd have the time to excersize if they walked or biked to and from work.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 2 replies

LA busses and trains affected this Saturday (Apr 28th)

Mushroom Girl — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 18:16:27 GMT

Here's what I found on the bus:

A flyer that says:

On Saturday morning, April 28, 2007, rail and bus passengers traveling to and from Union Station between 6 am and noon may experience delays of 15 minutes or longer due to a scheduled security training exercise.

Metro Rail, Metrolink and Amtrak trains will be affected and buses that normally serve Patsaouras Transit Plaza will be rerouted to Cesar Chavez Avenue and Vignes Street

Metro lines impacted will be 33, 40, 42, 439, 442, 444, 445, 446 (Rte 447) and 745, along with Santa Monica Big Blue Bus Line 10.

The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Deparment, Los Angeles Police Department, Metro Security, Amtrak Police and the U.S. Department of Transportation will be involved in the Homeland Security exercise. As part of the exercise, security checkpoints will be set up around Union Station and inbound passenger trains and buses will be inspected. Public participation at the checkpoints is voluntary.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 0 replies

Anyone here not drive in Los Angeles?

imagebliss — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 04:40:06 GMT

Now that would be an accomplishment!
I am planning to move there, and haven't driven in like 21 years!
If so, let me know how you do it, and let me know how you deal with the stigma and judgmental attitudes?

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 4 replies

I wasn't going to join

onearm — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 15:51:19 GMT

first of all, I found this tribe while trying to un-join 40-or-so other tribes - and - I want to be an adult who DOES drive a car by the fall of this year, so I don’t know if I need that phrase staring me in the face on my homepage, reinforcing the opposite of what I want - finding this tribe yesterday DID give me an idea, though, so I woke up at 4:00 this morning and wrote about it, almost as if I’d had a choice, as if I hadn’t been hearing voices -

it is not finished per my refusal to 12-step my perfectionism, but I don’t think I’ll finish it, per my refusal to annoy myself further with the issue - I’ll let you fill in the blanks - you can make a game of it - I’ll even give you the magnetic refrigerator tiles to get you started:

nightmares, carbon monoxide, public transportation, a hole in my wallet, a mysterious mental block, anxiety, nightmares, alcoholism, rednecks in hulking pickup trucks with gun-racks honking horns that play, “oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton...,” lattes, cellphones, morons, nightmares, and actually enjoying physical exertion -

maybe I’ll just post this and then I’ll bail out

...or maybe I’ll stick around:

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 8 replies

When I see an adult on a bicycle...

onearm — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 00:56:29 GMT

...I do not despair for the future of the human race.

- H.G. Wells

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 1 reply

Hi my name is Brian and I'm a non-driver

UltraLibra — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 03:02:22 GMT

I am almost 30 years old and I have never had a license. I don't know why that happened but I know how it happened. I could blame my dad all I want (he owned a stick shift and *insisted* that I learn even tho my lesson were on automatic) but I know what I did.

I got comfortable.

You can't read a book when you are driving yourself. On long trips I just pull out my reading material.
Can't sight-see while you're driving because you'd kill somebody. I stare out of my window all that I want on the bus.

But now I'm in a city that is hard to get around in. The public transit here in a word, sucks. I have gotten my permit but I wonder how long before I have my first accident. I don't think of myself as a good driver even when learning. I'm scared to drive if I think about it.

So far the only people that gave me shit about not driving was my parents. Nobody else talked about it and I do give them gas money to get me around.

I am able-bodied but I need my glasses as a stipulation. So do I take the plunge and go for my license? Is it even worth having a car nowadays? Help!

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 6 replies

driving and work

diazo — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 01:08:46 GMT

hi fellow non-drivers,

i have a little dilemma. i do have a driver's license (but am waiting for a replacement card from CA which i then have to exchange for NY license) but i have never been a city driver and only "learned" at age 35 since i grew up in the city. i've also had a couple scary driving experiences. now my boss is pressuring me to drive for work (i'm an environmental educator, another reason NOT to drive). it would be helpful though for work because i have materials i'd need to transport to schools during the winter in order to do programs. but i DON'T WANT TO DRIVE.

any thoughts, suggestions? i could just tell him that i'm not comfortable driving and therefore make myself unavailabe for winter programs (ok by me because i have lots of grant writing to do)... the job after all did not require that i have a driver's license. i DO ride a bicycle when possible. it has a basket but that can only carry so much without messing with my balance...

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 9 replies

And kids who do...

jb — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 18:25:08 GMT

http://www.cbs5.com/localwire/localfsnews/bcn/2005/11/27/n/HeadlineNews/FATAL-CRASH/resources_bcn_html

Another reason I am reluctant to even be near cars.

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 6 replies

A shout out to our moderator!

cyn_thia — Thu, 22 Sep 2005 14:39:38 GMT

I'm watching weather reports on Hurrican Rita. Just want to let our Houston based gal know that our thoughts are with her as she weathers the storm!

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 1 reply

really hate it when....

maryoneal — Thu, 03 Mar 2005 03:25:43 GMT

I grew up in a metropolitan city with full transportation (san francisco) and I really hate it when people (here in Sacramento) are so flabbergasted to hear that I reject cars and have no desire to drive. I don't have kids, I can work locally and walk. Why is that so awful to people. Car culture just infuriates me. I will eventually get my license so I can rent a car and travel, but that's about it. : )

posted in Adults Who Don't Drive Cars - 9 replies